mani iyer's cafe

It’s daybreak in mahalaxmi, one in a million pieces of the jigsaw puzzle that is Mumbai. The setting: mahalaxmi temple, a few intelligent brush strokes on a canvas of blue. The background score is provided by the call of the conches and the bells ringing, as the priests chant choicest mantras in praise of the goddess. Incense wafts through the morning air and just as you are drawn to the almighty in earnest, through this phenomenon that appeals to all your senses at once, you become aware of this distinct foreign fragrance vying for one of them. The smell of heavenly dosas being anointed, soon to be accompanied by divine chutney, which together hold the promise of gastronomic salvation. Satan switching to dosas to lead unsuspecting believers astray? Hardly! For Mani has just opened shop, and it’s just another day at the job for this tamilian who migrated to Mumbai ages ago, with dreamy eyes and a natural ability to whip out the meanest dosas in town.

Mani has been pleasing palates for close to 17 years now, and his roadside dosa stall is deservedly a thing of yore, but the transition from, just another roadside stall to the coolest dosa joint around has taken years of hard work and some innovative marketing.

For starters, apart from the staple offering of dosa and coconut chutney, the introduction of the extra ‘day of the week’ chutney was a masterstroke. The lure and variety it offers is a commendable value addition to a quality product. A lot of thought has gone into the menu as well, each dosa is available in the texture you desire, ranging from plain, to semi paper, to the ‘are you sure this isn’t just stationery?’ dosa. You also get to choose what goes into your masala dosa, a concept that has given birth to contemporary dosas such as the shahi paneer masala dosa and the seekh kabab masala dosa to name a couple.

However, one of Mani’s personal favorites is the Frisbee dosa. This form of dosa has not only helped Mani cut down on staff costs, (as it involves only the cook who makes the dosa and then hurls it into your car) but also succeeds in keeping the customers amused while they wait for their orders (as they have the choice of tossing the dosa to their friends while it cools down enough for them to eat while their friends’ dosas are on the way). The dosa camp movement comes a close second as far as innovations go. One day is reserved every year to organize dosa camps all around the city, to initiate young children in the joys of roadside eating. Self-styled volunteers knock on every door enquiring about uninitiated youngsters, and deliver dosas in a bid to inoculate them from the perils of roadside eating they’d soon be faced with. Subsequent camps have succeeded in expanding the customer-base to ridiculous proportions.

Although all these innovations have contributed in making Mani’s stall a grand success, my personal favorite is Mani’s ‘dosas for the dead’ initiative. The food in hell isn’t even close to what they promised, and heaven is just a fictitious concept that gods devised to keep things in order. Which leaves a huge customer-base un-catered to, and one that only Mani had the foresight to canvas. Needless to say, a sizeable amount of his revenues are generated through us, which makes him the richest stall owner of all time, and us the grateful dead!